“You moved from Chicago to Hillsboro… Hillsboro?”
Living in Chicago post-graduation was like being at sea; unsure of what direction to go in while fighting to keep your head above water just enough to enjoy the beautiful city but not drown in debt.
I acknowledged that I needed to somewhat stabilize myself after graduation back in January. I wasn’t ready to move to New York or LA then, so I stayed. It wasn’t a bad move to stay in Chicago, it was just a period of time to adjust after 17 years of education being my only motive. And when the decision to move came, I knew.
I was going through the motions once fall came around. Go to work at a bar downtown, make enough money to pay rent, feed myself and have some spare cash to go out. I was trying to find work in public relations after getting fucked over by Havas and not having luck.
When Matt and I started dating again, we were flying back and forth from ORD and PDX to see each other about once a month. Texts and FaceTime in between. There were discussions in person about the future and the expectations of wanting to live together. Then there was the day when Matt asked: “What if you tried to find something out here?”
This was a way out and an opportunity to better position where I was in life — mentally, emotionally, financially. And not to mention avoid the subzero winter of Chicago.
Why Not?
I was keeping my options open, sending my resume and applying to just about anything I could both in Chicago and Portland. I had some luck with a few interviews and phone calls, but it all likely ended with a generic rejection email. It was a quick turn around, less than three months, from when I decided to move and actually making the move. Fast forward six months, I’m living in a one-bedroom apartment in the Portland/Beaverton-area with Matthew and Luna, STILL trying to find a job, not in the bar scene.
I got soo close to landing a dream job with Adidas back in February. Interviewed with two senior public relations executives, who worked on major campaigns for the company experienced by millions. It was a big deal. The interview went pretty good but there were points that I didn’t nail. My one time shot and I could have done better. I remained hopeful about the chance that I could still be the right one for the job until I received the “Unfortunately, we will not be proceeding with you for this role” email.
Now, what set this rejection apart was a phone call I received from one of the executives. One in which he took about 15 minutes out of his day to go through my interview and really just give me peace of mind as to why I didn’t get it. The feedback I got was so positive, there was nearly nothing negative that he could point out except for what the candidate that got the job had over me (executing some big digital campaign for a company from scratch). At least I was runner up? It hurt that I was so close to landing a job that would make all the sacrifice worth it.
I have yet to get anywhere close to finding an opportunity like this. There have been some bad days dealing with the anger and frustration of not being where I hoped to be. Then add having to pay off student loans, rent, insurance, car payment, credit cards on a server wage to the mix. Puts a fucking knot in your stomach. It wasn’t until just the other day that I realized that my stress and frustration was not just because of my situation of finding a job but rather that I was dealing with the backtracking and the financial blow of getting my Bachelors degree.
So. Here I am, a year and five months later, still working my ass off to pay bills, still working on getting into a position to take off my career. But for right now, all I can do is continue to give it time, not lose faith in what my success looks like, and stay positive in the process. As for the next move, I will be leaving it up to the universe.
Jane Theory 